It started out like any other Thursday. I went to work and was dying of boredom, so naturally I decided to come home on my lunch break. Next thing I knew, the pain hit. BAM. I blacked out and was laying on my living room floor in a sweat. Life does not get much better than this. I crawled to my room and hoisted myself to my bed. I am not trying to be dramatic or anything, but I thought maybe I dying, and I was ok with it. I picked up my phone to call anyone who could save me. Finally, I reached Emily. Her and her husband, carried me out of the house and to the ER- no shoes, no wallet, nothing. Once we arrived at the ER, I was wheeled in. The ER is nothing like you see on TV. No one rushes to greet you and throws you up on a gurney like I was misled to believe by Grey's Anatomy. Rather, everyone just continues doing what they are doing. There was one lady there whose foot was bleeding everywhere. And all the doctors were just minding their own business. Doing their thang. So naturally, I was not high on the priority list.
They checked my vitals and proceeded to ask if I was pregnant or sexually active about 50 times. I am pretty sure at first they thought I was married to Emily's husband because Emily was not in there yet. So they lady basically flat out called me a liar when I told her there was no chance I was either. Awkward. After a brief 2 hour wait, they took me back. By this point, I felt totally fine. Also, I felt like an idiot because nothing was wrong with me. I could have run a 5k. But, they took me back anyways and decided to do an ultra sound-after asking if I was pregnant 20 more times. First attempt failed because apparently your bladder has to be super full in order to be able to see anything. So, they made me drink 70oz. of water in 30 min. I was ready to pop. Then they were able to run the ultra sound successfully. But, let me just tell you what. Drinking 70 oz of water and then having someone push on your bladder-not a good combo. Also, the ultra sound gel- they have heaters for it these days. It is no longer cold like you always see in the movies.
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| My ultra sound. ... Oh wait. |
The doctor took some pictures and then said "I am going to give you a compliment you probably have never heard before. It is not one I give often either-You have a very beautiful uterus." Uh, Thank you? How do you respond to that? I was flattered to know I could one day house children. I felt like I was on Baby Mama. I kept waiting for them to be like , "Oh there is the baby's arm, and his foot" Just because when you hear the word ultra sound, that is always what you think of. But, great news-I am not pregnant. After another 2 hours of waiting, the doctor said he would no longer ask if I was pregnant again because I looked like an honest person. I am not sure how you look honest. My guess is he just realized there was no child growing inside after seeing the ultra sound pics.
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| Baby Mama So, I was diagnosed with an ruptured ovarian cyst. What is this? Basically a ball of fluid that grows and ruptures into your pelvis. Gah. Hopefully it never returns, but the doctor said they usually do. Happy, happy joy, joy. And so, we finally left the hospital. I walked out in just my socks. My beautiful uterus and I keep our fingers crossed that Thursdays are more normal from now on. |
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